"Don't you worry, don't you worry child..."

I had a really crappy day yesterday, like the worst in a long time my head was just in the wrong place and i was just over thinking a lot of things in my life, over & over & over. Im not usually in the habit of doing that but the past few days have been bad for that.

Anyway my sister was sick and i went to the store to get orange juice and chocolate to cheer her up, when i went out to the store I splurged on snacks, anything I saw and wanted I put in the basket! lol I bought chocolate, chips, smarties ice-cream, cheesecake, & some other stuff too! I told you I'm an emotional eater! I was kinda lucky because a couple invited me over to have dinner with them and their family 

so it gave me an excuse to take the majority of the unhealthy snacks over too, before I ate all of them! :/ 

Plus last night its what i needed...a distraction. 

I had an awesome dinner with them but I'm on-call this weekend and ended up getting a service call just as we all finished dinner! :( great just what I needed, as if 40+ overtime hours wasn't enough this week.

 I wasn't in the mood to leave and go work but anyway I ended up going & in the end I'm glad I did....not that I had a choice but....you know what I mean. :)

I swear God can be so amazing sometimes when your head is just in the wrong place and your just depressed and down for whatever reason he knows what you need! It truly is humbling. 

There was a false alarm at a building and the Fire Department couldn't reset the fire alarm panel so I went down to help. 

Anyway I was met by this man and I just wasn't in the mood to talk to him or listen  to anything he had to say but I dunno something in my brain told me "come on iain your a half decent guy, be nice to the guy....it's Christmas" (or something along those lines)

Anyway he was all stressed over the events of the night so he went straight into talking about fire alarm this & fire alarm that & fire dept. this....etc.

I thought to myself forget all that, I should ask how his day is going, wish him a Merry Christmas, ask if he's spending Christmas with his family and be genuinely interested in his life... so I did.

I think he was a little taken back by it, haha, think he was expecting a lot of work talk anyway I just asked him how he was doing and wished him a Merry Christmas and all that and let him talk about Christmas & his family while I fixed the fire panel. At the end of the night once I had fixed the problem he invites me up to his office and gives me a slew of gifts!  (ill post a picture) I was shocked! He also asked me something else which i cant really discuss all the details of what he asked me quite yet but if it ends up happening ill share with you on here. It blew my mind!...and it was very humbling.

 Anyway by the time I was sitting in the car about to head home I was in tears. I realized that sometimes I'm so self absorbed, that my thoughts can be so about what I am missing in my life whether it be certain people, certain situations or things in general but 

I've come to realize that some of those things are out of my control that the last few days i might have been ungrateful for the things and peopel i dont have in my life but ti also realize the experiences I've had and the people I've met and shared time with this year I am so thankful for.

I just sat there and thanked God for the things in my life that I do have right now, like family, friends & a decent job. 

There's some things I can't change when it comes to my personal life and if I can't change it why should I spend every waking moment focusing on it. I just get depressed. I really believe it's about walking in faith that we should be blessed with the things in our life and when it comes to the things we don't have that God knows our wants and desires and if its His will it will work out. Though sometimes thats difficult for our minds to wrap around, well that's how I see it anyways.

I also got a message from a good girlfriend last night and I swear this girl can tell when I'm having an off day anyway she sent me a picture which for me is hard to put into action but I get where shes coming from. 

If we continue to focus on the things we don't have now how can we ever let new opportunities, desires & relationships enter our lives... well we can't. That's the hard part.

anyway I encourage anyone reading this to be thankful for the life we have, it could be worse and if there are desires for your life...if you believe in God maybe, just maybe he knows what you need for your life and he just might be  powerful enough to work it out, being the creator of the Heaven's and the Earth and all that! :P

This will be my last post till the New Year so Merry Christmas to you all, bring on 2014 & all the new things it will bring.

16hrs & Hangry "This Is What It Feels Like"

Well another week down and that much closer to Christmas Day.

I just got back from going out with kev &britt for dinner.

 This week was crazy busy, i mean cray cray with a side of cray!

I worked doubles this week because I needed the overtime and also I can't say no to the ladies in the office! I'm such a sucker! Haha 

 Working 16hrs makes my normal healthy eating habits kinda difficult and I'll be honest after my 16hr shift yesterday I couldn't care less what i ate as long as it was something!

I needed help at my job site so I called a good friend (kevin) that works at my company to come help me finish the job off. somehow he convinced me that we shouldn't stop for dinner, my mistake! anyways by the time 10pm rolled around I could of eaten my arm and yes it would have been a decent serving....because of my guns, obviously! ;)

Anyway we got done what we could and jetted back to Langley to Rockford Grill where Kevin's girlfriend works and she hooked us up with an epic meal & she also explained the word "Hangry" to me. Lol

We also tried to convince the Manager to keep the place open for New Years so we could have a huge party but no such luck anyway from the sounds of things I'm not going to be going along with the usual group of friends for New Years for personal reasons but that might be a good thing at least I get to hold off on drinking and eating unhealthy! 

What else? Hmm.. I was late for my dental appointment so I decided to buy all the girls at the dentistry office Vanilla Lattes, nothing goes down better with woman than a nice bribe! :D haha

They are an awesome group of girls and we all get on well, I've even partied with a few of them! Haha the good news is they told me that its possible my braces will be ready to be removed in 5 weeks! I can't even describe my excitement for my new smile! I have a feeling not having metal attached to my teeth will also boost my confidence!

 :D*

(^that's me with my teeth sparkling)

So I weighed in Sunday and was expectant to put weight back on and I did, 3lbs. Which actually is better than I thought. I realize this time of year is gonna be a little bit slack but I got all my workout stuff organized so I'm ready to go now!

Christmas Eve we're doing a big family dinner with some friends and then I've also heard some top secret info so I might have to dash off for a bit later in the nigh to meet up with some friends! :D 

What else? Hmmm Dec 27th the majority of my friends are getting together for the night so I'll probably go to that, new tradition maybe? that would be kinda cool I have no traditions at all so might be time to start. :)

Apart from that stay healthy over the holidays people...ah who am I kidding have some pie & ice cream, that's what January 1st 2014 is for anyways right?? :D joking!

Oh I had my company Christmas party on Friday too I can't remember if I posted about that, I think I did. Eating went well for the most part. I also have an EPIC & awesome video from the night but don't know how to upload it to the Blog....if I find a way I'll post it, makes me laugh so hard! 

I think in the New Year I gotta do more Blogs about my workouts & eating. Maybe also some stuff on supplements & a few workout tunes! This is kinda become my on-line diary! Haha oh well...my excuse?....3 sisters!

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year to you all.

Some good friends from work:

Delivery Man.

Went to watch delivery man with some friends at Colossus. I had a coke with rum. what?...I hear you say.... it's Christmas! Come on!

That was like my first pop in like 6-8months! :/

Anyways the movie was good, all I could think about was the main character. A man trying to be the best for his new family, wife & kid, a man trying to change things around and be a better person.

I kinda feel like that sometimes with my weight and other stuff too that it's not only me that's effected but others. Maybe not now but like my future kids & my future wife. Maybe it's a little heavy this post but life's kinda heavy sometimes. 

Tonight as I sat with a group of older women all in their 80's we discussed how quickly old age snuck up on them and I wondered and thought "man, I do not want old age to sneak up on me." I DO NOT want to be sat there talking to a 26 year old, full of regrets. 

Not that I'm full of tons of regrets but I want to change the ones I have now, follow up on being the man I know I can be. Ahhh I'm being too deep. :) 

Anyway I'm looking forward to the start of a New Year. 

Suits & Awesomeness.

Food this week has been ok I guess, I don't feel as good as I do when I'm on clean eating...but obviously permanent  vegetarianism isn't an option. My diet has been more vegetable and fruit based which I'm actually enjoying.

Making more and more healthy choices is a good thing and I can physically feel the difference.

 Christmas party on friday. Kevin & I suited up! :D he called me and was like "are you suiting up?" i was like "hell to the yeah!" haha honestly i love to suit up, theres nothing like being dressed up, you kinda feel James Bond like! haha ok well you know what i mean guys!

dinner was amazing, I did have meat and quite a bit of it and some drinks all which I'm sure didn't make me feel all that good seen as I've gone like a month without either. l'll stick to lighter more healthier meats like fish & turkey, which hopefully won't make me feel as bad.

I had gluten free pizza with a friend last night and watched Netflix. kinda having more and more days in on my own but it actually helps with the whole not drinking and healthy eating.

Today I went to a friends house, she had like 8 people over for breakfast and made pancakes and pulled pork with Jack Daniels maple syrup!! I couldn't make it in the morning because of Bible study but turned up after, everyone was still there.  She even made me gluten free pancakes which I appreciated a lot, saves my tummy from rumbling all day. Obviously not as bad as some people I used to hang with "rumble, rumble, rumble"...... **sigh** 

I'm now hiding in my basement, there's a huge girls Christmas onesie Pajama party thing going on next door with like a dozen girls. :/ yikes!

Well I'm off to do some laundry for tomorrow, goodnight.

Here's a montage of famous Barney sayings! Cracks me up!

http://youtu.be/OCQsEKOVZFM

Untitled

Monday I was off work. I guess all the pool I've been playing has done something to my back, kinda hoping its going to get better. :( 

I've been eating vegetarian up till today where I had meatballs in my Phò & Bacon in my soup! Lol I know! I know! The slow fade into meats was kinda non existent but what can I say? I miss ma protein...and when I say protein I don't mean ma beans & lentils. chh! 

Other than that I've nothing much to report, I'll continue eating clean over the holidays even though there's like 4-5 different Christmas party's going on including a pulled pork & pancake breakfast & a Christmas dinner with friends. 

I am such an emotional eater and I'm really trying to turn that around & that's kinda why I feel the next few months might be harder that I had imagined.

Most of my friends are helping me out and they've been great, most of them know I've struggled with this for too long especially my friends that knew me in 2011/2012 when I peaked at 275+.

 In the New Year I'm thinking of doing the juicing cleanse for 10-15 days again and then begin workouts and a high protein diet!

I'm so close to my goal I can taste it.

BRING IT!

Salad for dinner:

A Weekend To Remember.

Just a little over 6 hours to go and I'll be done my 10 day juicing cleanse. I went down to the store with Emily as she wants to juice for a week so I went down to help her grab fruit & veg and some other things.

Emily is truly awesome! She has completely changed her diet and fitness around and has been a huge motivation for me to do the same. 

She is now a fitness instructor and helps other people overcome the challenges that she knows too well. She works at the 30minute hit and if any of you ladies want a workout check it out! I did the guys Cancer fundraiser at 30min hit and it was killa! :D

I weighed in today and I'm down another 7lbs, obviously I'm expectant to put some of this weight back on but it's a change in my diet and should keep me on track over Christmas! Haha

I was in my office on Friday for a few meetings and a lot of people mentioned I was looking great! Which is very cool and definitely motivation to keep going! Oh man what a great group of people I work with! :D

This week I'll be eating vegetarian as I come off this cleanse and Friday is my work party which is going to be a lot of fun! I'm planning to eat veggies mostly and maybe treat myself and have a few drinks with friends, we'll see. 

This weekend is chill and I haven't really being up for doing much. I went to the Hemmingway friday but left early, I was tired and had a lot on my mind, those times when you don't feel like hanging out but just being a bit of a loner at home curled up on the couch. so i just ended up going home. Tonight I'm going to the fox & fiddle with friends for a bit but again nothing cray cray! :)

Looking forward to eating some solid foods tomorrow too!

 Oh did I mention I showed Emily how to use the juicer and after she had finished she was pouring it in a bottle and the lid came off the jug as she was pouring it and well let's just say most of it ended up on my arm! lol picture included!

Another Day Gone

3 days left on my juicing cleanse and then I'll be back on the vegetarian food leading up to my work christmas party, which is good cause the menu for the night looks really good. I'll probably continue that into Christmas so I can have Christmas dinner withy family!! kinda beats juicing right?? :P

I'm really determined to continue this to the end....to get to my goal weight and create a healthy life style. This really has been difficult and I've dealt with these weight issues all my life fluctuating from 200lbs to closer to 300lbs. 

Now more than ever I'm determined!!

I mean don't get me wrong I smelt cinnamon toast today and could of punched the guy square in the face but apart from the odd temptation...I'm so determined to make this happen now more than ever. 

I guess when something has effected your life for so long you get a sort of determination that nothing can hold back, you decide that it's important enough to make sure you don't let a single day pass without getting what you want, what you need. for health for family for yourself & for your future family. No excuses & no-ones responsibility but my own. 

I'll do everything and anything to make this happen, it may take time but like I said when you want something bad enough you'll figure a way to make it happen.

Shot of Jack

So Friday was my first complete day of Juicing and it was hard. I had food cravings and was a bit of a grump for most of the day or so I was told!  ;)

Juices consisted of one breakfast & morning snack juice, Luch & afternoon Snack & dinner juice. There is an option for two other juices if your feeling hungry or have a craving for more fruit & Veg juice....lol. I did not have such cravings on my first day.

This weekend was a Charity Pool Tournament which kept my mind off food and focused on Juice, At the tournament I won the 50/50 $165!!! Thats $290 won if you count the Grey Cup Cancer Fundraiser!! So I bought a bunch of the crew a round of beers at the pool hall.  I asked one of the girls I met at the tournament if she'd like a drink too she said "hell yeah!!!" "shot of Jack!!" I wasn't expecting that and was silly enough to say something to her like "I like your style!" So got roped into doing a shot of Jack with her...that's still part of Juicing right?? Haha thought ah what the Hell it's Christmas....kind of.

I'm not moving around much so pretty much manage four Juices and a whole slew of water each day.

 I also have a coffee in the morning. No sugar obviously but a bit of milk, anyway a coffee in the scheme of things is nothing.

I cant believe that Christmas is around the corner, i can't believe it's already been a year, one year since.......well.......since I was in Mexico, a lot has changed since then, some good, some not so good but another year is around the corner & who knows what that will bring.

I weighed in sunday morning and another two weeks of Raw & two days of Juicing I'm now my lowest weight in years. 

This week I lost 7.6lbs so I'm now in the 20's, 227.6!

 My hope is to Juice for as long as I can and then introduce protein etc again and build on a healthy lifestyle!

 I have a feeling the next few months are going to be hard for many reasons and I'm not just talking about fitness & nutrition but I guess it's just pushing on and getting through some of the harder things that come up in life, like everyone does. What can you do when you have no options.

Have a good night everyone. Oh and in case I don't see ya.....

http://youtu.be/PWcZKrP2sDU